Sorry

I have been having so much fun I forgot about this blog here. So here is an update.

Steve and I have been together now for 10 months. Here are pictures of us on the Seattle Marina.

Also on the same day we visited the Seattle 'Pikes Place' Gum wall which is certified the SECOND germiest place in all of the world.

I have been keeping Steve busy with new places like all the Marinas. Looking at the water with the ones you love is pretty awesome.

At one point my cousins came into town so we all went to breakfast. Here are the four of us.

Jordan has been in gymnastics and attended a 'Owl Nighter' in the gym for Halloween. I took some pics from their FB. Most of them include her friend Angelisa. In the last one Jordan is the Mummy. 

It also has snowed a few times, which Jordan absolutely ADORES, so Here is a pic of her playing in it. 

Last but not least are pics of Jordan, Steve and I everywhere. (The last one is one Steve sent to me on one of our beach walks)

damn my thoughts

So here I am needing to know too much and what happens? I hate myself for it. All I have to say is bitch is done so she better walk away from what she gave up or I am not sure how I am going to react. I find myself irritated at the past... LOL like am I kidding myself? Everyone has a past. I have one. So why does it bother me so.

I am so lame.

Being in love really sucks.

No clue

I have began like 3 or 4 blogs but I get distracted with work, the kid, the bf or something and I just end up closing the window. lol l so something quick.

I am still with Steve. Two months and while there are issues we seem to get past them. I love him and was finally able to tell him in a way that meant something to me. He is more free with it and it makes me the happiest person ever. I miss his face. I miss his kisses. I miss the feeling of no cares in the world when I am in his arms.

Making plans

Its funny how normal it is to say, we need this in OUR whatever..... It doesn't matter what it is its just 'normal'

On the flip side it was weird to talk about watching tv like a normal couple to someone today. 'Oh well we saw this on tv this weekend.' Wait we watched tv together? Wow that's kind of weird. We never have time to just 'watch tv' LOL

My heart is gone...

My outlet

I use this as an outlet because all my closest friends are in a different state now. I mean other than a few but with schedules and distance its hard to get alone time to talk to them. I like to clear my head. Some times when I type in here its just to get the gunk out of my head. I doubt myself, I pick apart my everything so when I come into my blog I begin to feel better about myself. Doesn't get rid of all that gunk BUT it does make me see things a bit differently.

So dating an amazing guy, my kid is excelling in gymnastics, my job is going well and I think my car has stopped throwing a fit for at least this week I have so much to be thankful for. Getting a second part time job seems to be like an only option today I can't continue to live paycheck to paycheck and not move out. So my goal for August is to find a part time job and put that WHOLE paycheck in savings so I can move out soon. I know Steve has a similar savings idea but I think he just needs to worry about his things for a minute before he puts me first. I am not used to a guy who wants to put me first. I spent a LARGE part of my last relationship wondering if I would even be first on his list....

On Monday he surprised me by driving up to see me, at least half way, and so I took him to the water front and we watched the sunset. I felt like there was nothing in the world that was in our way. He looks at me and its like the world doesn't exist. I can't wait to start and end my day looking at him.

Pinch me, I MUST be dreaming

Last night I was FINALLY able to take him to the water front and show him more than just the mountains by his house. Needless to say he was excited and happy and finally saw why I was so intent on getting him out. Him being there, holding my hand, playing with Jordan I just feel like I continuously need to pinch myself to make sure this isn't all a dream.

Waking up and feeling like there is only good in his eyes keeps me going. The day I will wake up and only see his face will be the day that I will truly be the happiest I have ever been in my life. If he gets his way we will be a full family shortly after we take that step LOL oh wow the fact that, that sentence doesn't scare me is a whole different thing.

Bumpy Rides

I have never been with someone this honest. Who sat and listened to me throw an angry fit and then cry on the phone and was totally unaffected by it. Not in a wow he must be unemotional but in a he is really hearing me kind of way.

We began talking 4 weeks ago. It was supposed to just be a boost to myself. This guy is nice. He says pretty things. Lets keep him around. I had just stopped talking to the first guy I dated after he who shall never be named again. (Though the new guy did come running back to find me gone, not my problem) We have been texting since that date? June 24th. Every day is a new surprise. Every word is a hug around me.

On Friday Jordan and I drove down and he took her fishing. The pics I got from this event have become the most beautiful things in my life. The way he just talks to her. He looks at her in a way that NO ONE other than me has looked at her. Beautiful.

Then on Saturday I had come to the conclusion that if I didn't find a way to see him I wouldn't see him all weekend. His family farm was getting their hay bailed so he was needed at home. So I decided since I was headed down south for a football game that I would leave early and surprise him. I wasn't so sure when his lunch was but I was certain by the time I left home that I was missing it. So he then began talking about his lunch and how he had not gone on it yet when I was getting into town. So I asked when and it was 30 minutes away. I was so excited! No Way! So we stopped at a store bought him some cookies and then sat outside his work for all of two minutes before he appeared. The look on his face was PRICELESS. I wish I would have gotten a pic. He was SOO shocked. It was a good 30 minutes just hanging out. I am so glad I got that. He left beaming. It was a great feeling.

Here is my song to him today....