Your mom? Really

When you are talking and he says, 'So my mom asked about you....' yeah I literally wanted to jump out of my own skin. Then he proceeds to tell you about YOU. I told my mom this, and this....Then all I wanted to do was thank him for listening. Our situation is so different and unique that even though our time apart is the worst our time together is special and wonderful. I don't have many words for what I am feeling.

The way he looks at me, calls me babe when he thinks I am being cute and grins at me when he feels as if I am being shy those things I cherish. The way he pulls me closer to rub my shoulder when he thinks I am moving weird. The fact that my 'WIFE' LOVES HIM. The fact that Jordan comes first for us both. (The fact that his mom has offered to watch Jordan so we can go out on a date) The way his hand feels with mine.

That isn't everything but that's enough to make this girl look forward to seeing him again.

Going still in a great direction

This has been my ANTHEM since last Thursday. I listen to this song up to 8 times a day. This one particular Lyric 'And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind, Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right.' And 'Your eyes looked like coming home'

This girl is ready....

Bring it LIFE! We have this under control! <3

A new Chapter, totally exciting

Hi there. I am here to inform myself that in the last part of my life I let my weight get out of control. For some reason all the guys I am interested in are completely fit. Like... Umm.... ok...

So I have made a promise to myself that I will try to loose at least 5 pounds a month. Try being the operative word there. Yeah I know its possible. Whats not making it easy is time. I am up at 6 am, out of the house by 7. I am home anytime from 5:45pm to like 7 depending on the nights activities, and when I am feeling WAY adventurous I don't get home until after 9. Yeah. So the goal is to monitor what I eat better.

I have some walking buddies and so I just need to begin doing some kind of weight training before bed or activities like crunches or push ups, yeah who am I kidding. LOL I want to be a healthier me for future me. So here it goes.

Always making a change

So I have this new job. I am making more money, working more hours and keeping super busy. Jordan is joining gymnastics and we are making new friends. Yesterday we went to Olympia for some crazy 'hipster' 'stoner' festival. lol Yeah I felt so out of place! HAHA I was there with a friend from HS and her Army husband. We took Jordan and walked around downtown. It was a good day. Afterwards we drove the long distance home and picked up dinner before going to my friends house and having a night out. It was night to talk to a adult who 'gets it.'

Honestly sometimes its nice just to say something and have someone say, 'Yeah I agree.' I felt better.

Working my ass off

So here is the thing. 6 years ago I stopped working a full time job to become a full time mommy and 'house wife' for NO PAY, no appreciation and a jerk. Leaving Phoenix meant getting a job, step one. I handled that but at first poorly. I am now on job three.

Job three has been amazing, yes I know two weeks in, but I have gone up two dollars an hour since I started. in fact day 7 was when I got the bump. Shows promise, no? LOL ok so step two was getting a car. I did that. I was shocked at how hard it was to hit the ground but once I did I was able to do it with little help. My payments are low and my insurance is as well. Plus in April of next year I will completely own this car. Not to say this car doesn't have issues, because it has a few, but I have a great 'car fixer' and we have been diligent at fixing each issue one at a time.

Step three getting insurance. I am in process now. I am hoping to get approved for both of us though I would be ok if my kid was approved it would be nice to finally get into a doctor myself to address my bp issues and stuff.

Step four is saving money for a place to live. I need SOME furniture but I have to insist of a new couch and bed. So thats where I am today :) My  short term goals.

Observations...LOL

So your ex wife quit working when you met her? Right? Shortly after WE met you began to question why I worked. You constantly threw out comments about how when I worked long hours I couldn't clean and cook and take care of the kids. After many failed attempts of trying to stay employed I quit working at your insistence. Though you 'acted' as if I should get a job you never really tried to give me chances to do so. You made sure I couldn't get to a job by car or bus. You made sure I had NO access to money, you made sure to really held me down. But you made sure you didn't 'let me know' that its what you were doing. So when someone else helped me, you finally decided to 'rid your life of me'

Funny thing, your 'roommate' is currently unemployed. HAHAHA I think I found your pattern.


Turns out the problem isn't the women, its YOU! HAHAHAHHA

I always knew

You know the faint voice in the back of your head that you ignore? Well I have decided its important and I am taking its advise now. Starting with acknowledging that you are a waist of my time. I mean I get a laugh hearing about how you spend 'days' drinking with your 'friends' during the week and how I have picture proof you spend your nights the same way. Guess its hard to deal with the mess you have created and to avoid having to deal with it you are drinking your life away. Sounds like a crappy way to deal with life but I am not you. Now, like before, I drink when its social and when the mood strikes. I don't need booze to deal with my life or issues surrounding it.

Now this Young Champions bull. I am currently checking my possibilities. I am not going to sit down and let this person sling mud at me and put my character in question. I DO NOT STEAL! You won't get away with saying so either. If I have to come after the company to get satisfaction I will. This will not stand.

I did get a new job. The step to fixing my life was if I got a job quickly I would begin tithing regularly. I didn't 'promise' an amount but I did promise if I did get a job quickly that I would promise to tithe. I have always needed to but now I feel as if God was on my side with this so I am going to keep my promise and begin to tithe regularly.

That is all for today. I am tired. I got my first pair of shoes in 5 years today and it makes me feel better.